Are You Fat Phobic?

Fat! Apparently nobody wants it, everyone has it and most are afraid of it. Hence fat phobia! The media has taught men that fat women aren't good enough. But, it's ok if they are fat! By the way, many women believe this to be true.  Thanks for that.

Often woman are not even aware of the low self worth they feel. Do subservient woman who wear scarves on their heads have feelings like this? Are they even allowed to have feelings of self-love?  Am I ignorant?

 Why, do men want skinny bitches? Having sex with someone bony doesn't sound too pleasurable to me. It sounds painful, but what the hell do I know. I'm f-ing fat!

Most women have a problem with the word fat. Some cry at the word fat. They cry if they are called fat. It is so sad.  I’ve been called fat and a bitch, oooooh the truth, it doesn’t sting badly anymore.

Fat is considered politically incorrect. Over weight, that’s the term we fat people can live with.  I'm fat and I admit it. I will not be judged by the size of my ass!  I am strong and have a great amount of muscle, though still 30 lbs "overweight". It really sucks because I love chocolate, sugar, bread all the things that make and keep you fat.

 Why as a society, do we judge people on their size and weight, woman more than men?  Why is it ok to be a fat man, but not a fat woman? Discrimination? When is someone not too fat? Who is the judge? Penis people (men)? I believed I was fat even when I wasn't. 

I don't know that I will ever see myself as thin even if I am.  Even when I was normal body size, I didn't believe it! Ok how fucked up is that? Where do men find the skinny ones? First of all most of them are crazy!

With so many fat women, it's no wonder men on dating sights are like vultures for the hotties. Really, if 2/3 of women are overweight something has got to give. Hey fat chicks need love too!

I think women in general have low self worth, fat, thin or indifferent. I have worked on this for a long time and I really believed I wasn't worthy.  Worthy (or not worthy) of what I'm not quite sure, there are so many things. I couldn't be loved because I was fat, never good enough. I only broke 2 bills once!

Women who are afraid of fat workout a lot and/or starve themselves. I think many may not realize their fear. And I get it. I think fat women are discriminated against with clothing, airplane seats, and in many other ways.  Lululemon and Abercrombie don't even want fat people in their stores. No fat thighs in our pants.  If two thirds of the population is fat who buys the clothes?

In 30 years when our planet is burning up and it is survival of the fittest for food and water, the fat people are going to be a hot commodity. They will have money, food and water.

I have really accepted who I am. I accept reality. I can also do something about it and I have been.  I have been working hard on the mental piece of shedding the fat. Even though I am only about 25 pounds overweight, I see myself as fat. What asshole put that in my brain? When I was asked to describe myself, not so long ago it was "900 lbs soaking wet.”

Maybe it was a joke, but I really believed it and felt like it! Losing weight is a total mind game.  Your head has to be in it, the madness comes from your head. You must be so aware, body and mind awareness. I must manage all my thoughts and feelings, because all the craziness that goes with the fat mental state can send you to the insane asylum.

I talk to a lot of fat people. Their wacked out heads drives you nutty! For me to change this mindset it has taken a lot of prayer and meditation.  I have had to go deep into myself to see the real truth; you would think the truth would be easier to swallow than my batty head!  It is so difficult to love and accept ourselves. It takes so much mental action. I have to shrink myself constantly, thoughts, actions, mind games and reality! 

Over Eater, Binge Eater? How To Get a Grip On It, and Not On a Fork

 Compulsive over eater, binge eater, whatever you want to call it, clearly many of us have this problem. With two thirds of women over weight and half obese, we as a gender have a problem with our relationship with food! We are embarrassed by our weight, our secret eating habits, and miffed as to why we can't control this problem.

Willpower is fiction in the face of sugar addiction! It really pisses me off. I have been trying to control this problem for a really long time.  I am finally giving in, I need to get to the underlying problem.

When I over eat, I feel like crap and then beat the crap out of myself for it, nice. next I possibly over exercise, or if I'm really in the sh$ter, not workout at all. Of course promising to myself that this is the last time! I believe that with all my heart.

No offense, but skinny bitches have this problem too!

Men and Women who are Compulsive Overeaters will sometimes hide behind their physical appearance, using it as a blockade against society (Common in survivors of sexual abuse). They feel guilty for not being "good enough," shame for being overweight, and generally have a very low self-esteem. They use food and eating to cope with these feelings, which only leads into the cycle of feeling them ten-fold and trying to find a way to cope again. With low self esteem and self worth there is often constant need for love and validation, he/she will turn to obsessive episodes of binging and eating as a way to forget the pain and the desire for affection.

Why can't the emotional eating fix our emotional problem? Apparently half to two-thirds of us have crazy thoughts, behaviors and emotions with food.

Researchers have speculated there is an abnormality of endorphin metabolism in the brain of binge eaters that triggers the addictive process. This is in line with other theories of addiction that attribute it not to avoidance of withdrawal symptoms, but to a primary problem in the reward centers of the brain. For the compulsive overeater, the ingestion of trigger foods causes release of the neurotransmitters, serotonin and dopamine. This could be another sign of neurobiological factors contributing to the addictive process.

Abstinence from addictive food and the food eating processes cause withdrawal symptoms in those with eating disorders. There may be higher levels of depression and anxiety due to the decreased levels of serotonin in the individual.

So what is the answer for controlling this problem. Treatment, Overeaters Anonymous, a shrink?

I am now working on a new program for myself. I am going to start journaling when I start having these thoughts. I want to get a handle on the monkey in my brain, apparently I get low self worth and no esteem from my monkey. I really thought I had dealt with this stuff years ago, I guess it creeps back in when you are not paying attention! When you aren't paying attention you can eat 5000 calorie without batting an eyelash!  

My new motto is pay attention! My short ADD attention span gives me huge problems with this on consistency. Pay attention. Pay attention to the weird awful feelings that come with this compulsive over eating. Pay attention to what goes in my mouth. Pay attention to verything.

Confessions Of A Crazed Sugar Addict

Sugar makes me nuts! I crave it for no reason. I can hardly control myself when I’m in a certain mood, or it is in front of me, or I need it like a heroin addict needs a fix. Frankly, some days I wish I could just shoot butter cream frosting into my veins. I think it would be less painful.

Insane thoughts go through my head when I need a sugar fix.  I cannot talk myself off the ledge once I hit that point. Am I insane?

For many years I blamed my sugar addiction on my abandonment of alcohol. When I really started to think about it, I think food, or anything that metabolizes like sugar, complex carbs, refined sugar did get me high. 

Even as a kid I used sugar to get me out of my own head. I have come to see that my sugar/food addiction started when I was very young. Maybe a little trauma helped bring it on, but I remember when the sugar switch flipped for me.

I now believe sugar is the gateway drug. When you turn a year old you get a whole cake shoved in your face, then you bury your head in it, and you are never the same again. You constantly seek sugar out. When you are a child you cant get enough!

Why, even when we are children, do we need something to take the edge off?

I am really surprised I don't weigh 400 lbs. When I am on a compulsive binge I cannot stop. My mother makes these nut goodie bars at Christmas, (I might dream about them all year, but I will never admit it!) Most people (normies) can only eat a small sliver because these bars are so rich, oh not me. I could eat half the pan, barely stopping for a breath. It is really sick.  But mostly when I eat like that it's in the closet. It would be easier to be a closet lesbian! Yes, most compulsive overeaters are in the closet. Not like you can hide it, because it shows on your a$$!

Big moist brownies with chocolate frosting...... oh yes I am abstaining from refined sugar/ processed refined foods. I have to tell you it’s a bitch! One day at a f$%^&* time!

Why oh why can't this be easier? Why do I have this defect?

I understand the plight of overweight people. I get it people! It is a fight every day about choices and unfortunately you cant give up food. I like all or nothing, that seems to work for me.  The health risk of this behavior is your life, at best. 

What does it take for me to control this issue that afflicts me on a moment to moment basis? Help I have fallen and I cant get up! I’ve really started to see how this affects my overall life balance. It is no wonder I feel disconnected all the time.  Even though I do Pilates and my muscles are connected, it feels like my soul, heart and head are all going different directions.

Doing regular meditation is really helping and I am a twelve stepper all the way!

I am working on keeping control through prayer and meditation.

I went to mingle with the food Nazis the other night. Those bitches are hardcore. I felt the need to turn my will (Because I am a willful little bitch.) over to the fatties and the pukers. Oh the shame and embarrassment of it all. I really believed I had dealt with my shame but this crap runs deep.